Many of you will have read the ABC article last week by Julia Baird, which discussed the connection between evangelical Christian preaching around submission and male headship and the prevalence of domestic violence. The article was certainly confronting and challenging, and raised vast amounts of discussion, particularly through social media. One of the most sobering findings was that a fifth of domestic violence perpetrators are also regular church-goers, and even more attend sporadically.

Friends, the Uniting Church in Australia firmly believes that men and women are equal in the sight of God, with equal blessing of gifts and skills to offer the church and world. There is no difference between my and John’s ordination to Ministry of the Word, nor is there any difference between my calling to West Epping and my husband’s calling to tertiary ministry. In a Uniting Church marriage service, the vows never include that of the submission of the woman to the man; rather, each party vows to love, honour and protect the other, and forsaking all others, remain faithful to the other, as long as they both shall live. The man and woman make identical vows.

Certainly most ministers I know would shy away from preaching on difficult passages such as those promoting the submission of wives to husbands. John and I have decided to pluck up our courage, and give it a crack: in September this year, John and I will be offering a Bible Study month in the Sunday services, working through the book of Colossians. Colossians 3 includes an exhortation for wives to submit to their husbands; either John and I will wrestle with that and other texts, with you all – particularly the word “submit”. And I do mean wrestle; there are no easy ways out of difficult Bible passages, unfortunately. But we are able to look at them maturely, wisely, and with Christ-centred eyes.

From a pastoral perspective, may I just say this: if you have felt that to be in a Christian marriage is to be a dominant husband or a submissive wife, I am sorry. If you have ever been taught in a church setting that wives are to endure abuse and domestic violence in the name of marriage vows, I am sorry. If you have ever been a victim of abuse, but have not felt safe to talk with ministers about it, I am sorry. This is not the way the church should be. I pray that this congregation is a safe place for each of you, where you are reminded and affirmed repeatedly that you are a loved, cherished child of God, and that we are called to embody loving, cherishing relationships.